Daddy's Ditties

I was feeling a little nostalgic yesterday. So much is lost as generations come and go. When I was wee, my dad used to say little ditties while we were riding in the car. I have no idea who wrote them,  where he heard them or how many are out there on the internet. From a quick Google search, some of them are out there in various forms, but worded a little differently or much longer than what I recall him saying. I was thinking about them last night and decided to post what I remember. 

My dad used to grin like a Cheshire Cat and chuckle after he'd say any of these. Clearly, he repeated them enough times they stuck with me all these years. Do you have any little ditties your family shared? And do you share them with the next generation?

If you're squeamish, skip the last one! 

Before I knew biology, the dangers of a kiss.
I thought that kissing you was the nearest thing to bliss.
But now I know biology and I just sit and moan.
10 million mad bacteria and I thought we were alone.

The mule he has two legs behind, and two he has before.
You get behind, before you find, what the two behind be for.

Johnny was a chemist.
But Johnny is no more.
For what he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Turned around and shot each other.

Repeat after me:
"Whatta"
"Goo"
"Siam"
Now put it all together:
"What a goose I am. "

 

STOP HERE IF YOU'RE SQUEAMISH! 

My bonnie has tuberculosis,
My bonnie has only one lung.
She coughs up big yellow oysters,
And wallows them over her tongue.

Image by Andrys Stienstra from Pixabay